Quick Correction:

Okay, so, it turns out that Iris died nearly 7 years ago. So, you know. We lost a good one.

Quick Birthday Greeting:

So, Iris Glopolous, a huge Izzy Lyon fan, and the previous face of the Des Moines chapter of the Izzy Lyon Fan Club turned 70 years young today! I haven’t spoken to her in years, but she is a great gal. We were kind of rivals when we first met decades ago on account of our competing fan clubs. But we put our petty differences aside and became almost friends. Izzy wouldn’t want people fighting over him! Again, Happy Birthday. You’ll outlive us all, Iris!

Big Izzy Search Milestone:

Just thought I’d toot my own horn and announce the crossing of a big milestone in the search for the one and only Izzy Lyon. Bum Bum B-Bum Bum Bum Buuuuuum!

I officially ran out of thumbtacks I use for mapping out Izzy sightings on my map! Now I know I said that I was going to try going more high-tech computerized and all, but there’s just something so satisfying about shoving a thumbtack through that map that makes my heart race, you know. So, the pack says it had 50 thumbtacks, but after counting the ones on the map I realized that only about half made it up there. I must have used the other ones on some other (not as important) project. But I don’t think it takes away from the occasion. I’m off to the dollar store for a new box!

Secret Early Clips for Izzy Documentary:

So, this is going to be a weird post. I was privy to a few minutes of footage from the upcoming (don’t know when, but later than now) documentary Izzy Lyon: The Unspun Truth. (And yes, I found out that when you type it it’s supposed to be italicized, instead of underlined like when you write it with a pen and paper!) Now, here’s the thing with secret footage, you can’t talk about it! About particulars anyway. The suits in control made me and the others sign documents and everything. But they said I could give my opinion and all, just not really any details, you know.

Okay, so here goes. It was amazing! I’m in it! Can you believe it? Not to get too headswollen, but it was weird and cool. And it’s all about Izzy. I cannot wait for this thing to be everywhere. I need a new car so I can go to the drive-in. So great! Go Izzy!

Hash Tag: IzzyLyonDocumentaryisGoingtobeGreat!

Chasing Wild Geese:

I don’t like to talk about the wild goose chases I sometimes go on because some knucklehead thinks it’s funny to torture people, but maybe this will help Izzy Lyon fans avoid getting sucked into a dumb prank by jerks with too much time on their hands.

So, these types of scumballs usually start the same way, with a message on the Facebook or an email claiming to be Izzy Lyon and wanting to admit to being on the run from the government or maybe the mafia. In this case, this creepo claimed to be Izzy Lyon on the run from over a hundred single mothers of Izzy’s illegitimate children. Oh yeah, that’s plausible. Then they said that all of these mothers named their kids “Izzy” and I thought whoa, that is what they would do. Okay, yeah, I know, I’m an idiot for thinking it, but for the briefest moment my guard went down. But, I had one more trick up my sleeve. I asked them the name of Izzy’s number one fan…and…they knew it was me! Holy crow! Okay, this is getting weird, but I would totally kick myself if I didn’t give every lead their due diligence, you know. They (I’m using the “they” here because creepos can be girls too. We can do anything) had me go into my backyard and look for weeds near my back fence. Now, I’m freaking out. Anyone who knows me knows not to trespass without permission on my property unless you want to risk a kneecapping, you know.

Long story short, I end up digging up every weed in my yard, and there were plenty. But nothing of note, except for a few old, buried bones, was found. Finally, I’m lying un the grass, exhausted, filthy, and this toad-face says, “Have you checked for Izzy up your butt?”

Really?

Wow. So now I get to add embarrassed and humiliated to my list of adjectives. So what’s the lesson? Get better questions! Make sure people are who they say they are. Now, I know, part of this is just that I was in a vulnerable state of mind and so want to find Izzy, but jeez. Hopefully this lesson is going to finally sink in. Positive note: My lawn looks great!

Hash tag: Makesureit’sreallyIzzy

Izzy is Magic:

That’s not just me (lover of all things Izzy) talking. That’s the word from Stanford physics professor Enton Lingonberg. According to a nice lady named Beth I met the other day at the Moo and Oink, Izzy Lyon is officially magic! She told me that she saw a lecture with Lingonberg back when she was an undergrad and a student asked a question about Izzy’s trademark Helicopter move. According to Beth the prof laughed and said the move was impossible to explain with normal physics and that Izzy was either using special effects or magic. And since we know Izzy Lyon would never stoop to using special effects… Izzy is magic!

Supposedly, the prof also said that according to physics, a bumblebee can’t fly. Umm, yeah they can, ya goofball! Maybe all bees are magic too?

Izzy Lyon Keeps Giving:

Saturday marks the 30^th anniversary of the creation of the Izzy Lyon Coats for Kids charity that he set up for the poverty-stricken kids in Borneo. A backstage meeting with a young girl named Mahia after a sold-out show had a powerful effect on Izzy. Izzy Lyon was Mahia’s idol and she had travelled from Borneo to America as part of a Make-a-Miracle Foundation sponsored event. She remarked (through her translator) that she was very cold (it was January in the Windy City) and Izzy sprang into action.

Growing up on Chicago’s southside, Izzy was no stranger to snowy and cold winters. He created the Izzy Lyon Coats for Kids to send over ten thousand coats every year to children in Borneo. When told that Borneo rarely reaches temperatures below 80 degrees Fahrenheit, brave Izzy refused to back down. In fact, in addition to coats, the charity also sends scarves, mittens, and snow boots to the confused children of this island whose name in Sanskrit is “Kalimantan,” which roughly translates to "burning weather."

See, Izzy, even though you’re not here, you keep making this world a better place!