Chasing Wild Geese:

I don’t like to talk about the wild goose chases I sometimes go on because some knucklehead thinks it’s funny to torture people, but maybe this will help Izzy Lyon fans avoid getting sucked into a dumb prank by jerks with too much time on their hands.

So, these types of scumballs usually start the same way, with a message on the Facebook or an email claiming to be Izzy Lyon and wanting to admit to being on the run from the government or maybe the mafia. In this case, this creepo claimed to be Izzy Lyon on the run from over a hundred single mothers of Izzy’s illegitimate children. Oh yeah, that’s plausible. Then they said that all of these mothers named their kids “Izzy” and I thought whoa, that is what they would do. Okay, yeah, I know, I’m an idiot for thinking it, but for the briefest moment my guard went down. But, I had one more trick up my sleeve. I asked them the name of Izzy’s number one fan…and…they knew it was me! Holy crow! Okay, this is getting weird, but I would totally kick myself if I didn’t give every lead their due diligence, you know. They (I’m using the “they” here because creepos can be girls too. We can do anything) had me go into my backyard and look for weeds near my back fence. Now, I’m freaking out. Anyone who knows me knows not to trespass without permission on my property unless you want to risk a kneecapping, you know.

Long story short, I end up digging up every weed in my yard, and there were plenty. But nothing of note, except for a few old, buried bones, was found. Finally, I’m lying un the grass, exhausted, filthy, and this toad-face says, “Have you checked for Izzy up your butt?”

Really?

Wow. So now I get to add embarrassed and humiliated to my list of adjectives. So what’s the lesson? Get better questions! Make sure people are who they say they are. Now, I know, part of this is just that I was in a vulnerable state of mind and so want to find Izzy, but jeez. Hopefully this lesson is going to finally sink in. Positive note: My lawn looks great!

Hash tag: Makesureit’sreallyIzzy

Izzy is Magic:

That’s not just me (lover of all things Izzy) talking. That’s the word from Stanford physics professor Enton Lingonberg. According to a nice lady named Beth I met the other day at the Moo and Oink, Izzy Lyon is officially magic! She told me that she saw a lecture with Lingonberg back when she was an undergrad and a student asked a question about Izzy’s trademark Helicopter move. According to Beth the prof laughed and said the move was impossible to explain with normal physics and that Izzy was either using special effects or magic. And since we know Izzy Lyon would never stoop to using special effects… Izzy is magic!

Supposedly, the prof also said that according to physics, a bumblebee can’t fly. Umm, yeah they can, ya goofball! Maybe all bees are magic too?

Izzy Lyon Keeps Giving:

Saturday marks the 30^th anniversary of the creation of the Izzy Lyon Coats for Kids charity that he set up for the poverty-stricken kids in Borneo. A backstage meeting with a young girl named Mahia after a sold-out show had a powerful effect on Izzy. Izzy Lyon was Mahia’s idol and she had travelled from Borneo to America as part of a Make-a-Miracle Foundation sponsored event. She remarked (through her translator) that she was very cold (it was January in the Windy City) and Izzy sprang into action.

Growing up on Chicago’s southside, Izzy was no stranger to snowy and cold winters. He created the Izzy Lyon Coats for Kids to send over ten thousand coats every year to children in Borneo. When told that Borneo rarely reaches temperatures below 80 degrees Fahrenheit, brave Izzy refused to back down. In fact, in addition to coats, the charity also sends scarves, mittens, and snow boots to the confused children of this island whose name in Sanskrit is “Kalimantan,” which roughly translates to "burning weather."

See, Izzy, even though you’re not here, you keep making this world a better place!

Great News for Our Vegan Friends!

So, I was at the Christmas party down at the VFW, which wasn’t until several weeks after Christmas, because we had to wait for Mark to get out of the hospital (he slipped a disc when he fell off his snowmobile. Don’t get old, folks.) Anyways, the topic of the Vegan hunters came up and people in the spirit of the season came up with some good ideas. Remember how we couldn’t figure out what Vegan hunters did with the animal meat so they didn’t just waste it?

Here's a few ideas that we came up with:

1.     Save money on pet food. Obvious, right?  A good size buck could probably feed a Pit bull for months.

2.     Donate it to a soup kitchen or food pantry. Talk about a win-win! Starving people eat and you don’t waste meat. Just imagine the looks on those hungry faces when they get to throw down on some fresh shot muskrat soup! This is probably the most in being in the holiday spirit.

3.     Use the meat to bait your traps. Again, so obvious. Of course, this is only going to work with smaller animals. Unless you’ve got thousands of traps, you’re not going to be able to utilize an entire elk or Kodiak. Now, it was pointed out by Dave (he’s got a brain on him) that you’d now need to find a use for the meat from the rabbits or minks or whatever you trap. Kind of an endless loop. No one said solving this problem would be easy. 

Again, thanks to the gang at the VFW for a really solid party and good suggestions. Happy New Year, everyone!

Another Year of No Izzy Gone

I don’t want to end this year on a downer, but when that calendar rolls around and I think that we had another year without Izzy, it gives me a touch of the blues (or melancholia to those in the Midwest) let me tell you. But here’s the thing that makes me chug another glass of holiday cheer: a new year, new chances, new opportunities. Also, thanks to this blog, I’m reaching even more people than I ever could with the Izzy Fan Club Newsletter, because that only went to certain addresses. Everyone can read this!

As a bonus, I’m hoping that next year I’ll get to see a pre-release (is that real?) of a documentary that I was involved with. Once it gets its post-pre-release that might get even more people involved in the search. Okay, I feel a little better. Happy New Year, Izzy Faithful!

New Mapping Technology May Reveal Izzy’s Flight Path!

So, my cousin Marge was showing me that you can make maps on your computer from the internet. It’s incredible! She showed me that we could make a map specifically centered on Soldier Field the night of Izzy’s disappearance. Now, I do like the handsy feel of my wall map and thumbtacks and string. I’m not going to lie. But this is the “modern” age and you can’t always fight it.

I know it’s a longshot because so much time has passed, but it might be time to revisit that fateful night and try to piece together what happened! Time to embrace the future!

Possible Florida Izzy Sighting Part 4:

Okay, so remember how Greg was in the hospital after he got hit by a car after he was chasing his so-called friend who has info on Izzy and stole his (our) money? Well, something really fishy is going on! I called the hospital he was at, to make sure he got my care package, and they said they had no one by that name there! What the H-E-CK is going on? Greg hasn’t responded to me since the last time we spoke, and I’m really worried about the guy!

HASH TAG WhereGreggy?