Izzy Spin Sound Challenge:

So, here’s a new one that I’ll bet no one ever thought you’d see. I was down at the VFW (My current watering hole of choice) and I’m chatting with Joyce and some new jamoke named Craig starts getting in on the conversation. Joyce told me later that he was just eyeballing me for a cheap roll in the hay. I don’t think so!

Anyway, the topic of this “blog” comes up and he starts nosing around it and got to that post from a month ago about that Izzy dream. He starts laughing. I’m like, dude, what’s your defect? He starts reading it aloud for the bar, but he’s the only one laughing. It pays to drink with people with a little common sense like this crowd. Anyway, he gets to the part where I mention the sound of Izzy spinning and he actually questions whether or not I could identify the sound of Izzy spinning as opposed to another sign spinner. I plop a Hamilton in front of him and say, “You want to bet, smart guy?”

Next thing I know, moneys flying around the bar with everyone taking sides. So, now it’s serious! We’re supposed to meet in a few weeks to hammer out the details of the challenge, but I’m confident I got this!

Weird Izzy Nightmare Dream:

So, I wanted to share a weird dream I had about Izzy Lyon last night. No, not that kind of dream, pervs! This was just weird and I’m not sure what it means.

Okay, so I’m in the middle of a big room and it’s pitch black. Not sure how I know it’s a room when it’s pitch black, but it’s a dream so who knows. Suddenly, I hear this swishing sound and I’ve watched (listened) to enough Izzy Lyon spinning videos to recognize it as the sound of Izzy Lyon spinning a sign. Then suddenly the lights start going on one at a time. It’s those terrible fluorescent tubes, you know? And they sort of flicker to life. Then, a big spotlight goes on and Izzy is there! He’s on a stage spinning a sign beneath some big machine. I start walking towards him and I notice that his ankles are tied to the floor. And then I realize what’s happening. Izzy is a prisoner and they’re using him to power all the lights! Oh jeez! I woke up drenched in sweat.

What a terrible fate that would be. Just picturing those big old wind turbine mills makes me shiver now. Okay, so I know it was just a dream, but still!

Daylight Savings Scam:

It’s that time of year again and I keep hearing people complaining about the whole “Spring Ahead” thing. It’s not real. Don’t fall for it. You’re not really losing any time and you’re definitely not time-travelling into the future. It’s just on the clocks. Don’t believe me? Don’t adjust your watch and see what happens…nothing! Everything’s the same.

Just make sure you’re not always an hour late, though. Because some people believe it’s real. Ugh!

Cocovod Recipe:

Okay, so I guess I didn’t realize that cocovod was a regional thing. Lot’s of people are asking me what it is and simply put: it’s the best way I know to chase away the winter chill. Essentially, cocovod is a hot chocolate drink with a bit of a kick.

Here’s my Aunty Bonnie’s recipe for cocovod (the one I use):

 

Ingredients

¾ cup of Whole Milk

3 tsp of Sugar

3 tsp of Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

½ tsp of Vanilla Extract

¼ cup of Vodka

Heat milk, vanilla, cocoa powder, and sugar in a small saucepan, forever stirring. Make it as hot as you like, as long as the cocoa powder and sugar are dissolved, you’re fine. Don’t make it too hot or you’ll burn your tongue. Pour into a mug and add vodka.

Enjoy.

Note: I can’t find my tablespoon in case you’re wondering!

Stay Home with Frozen Izzy:

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an avid outdoorsman. So it may come as a shock to people that when I’m in the middle of winter, I don’t mind staying home and cozying up to a good book. And no, this is not just a blatant way of promoting my own book. It’s been out-of-print since my comb-binder broke a few years back. No, I’m talking about my Izzy scrapbook. I’m sure you have one too. But when’s the last time you took it out and enjoyed it?

It's time.

Make a fire. Heat up some cocovod and just relax and skim through the pages. What’s weird is that Izzy can do it all. He can make your heart race AND be a great comfort. Izzy Lyon is a person so frequently associated with movement, but to see him frozen in a photo in your scrapbook, ahhhh, bliss.

A chilly morning toast to Izzy!

Possible Florida Izzy Sighting Part 5:

So, it’s been a while, but if you look back at previously posted posts, you’ll see that there were some shady dealings with a guy named Greg. A guy it turns out that I foolishly trusted. He spun me a tale about a friend and Izzy info, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker!

Not only did I send this joker a pile of hard-earned dough-ray-me, but I can’t tell you the amount of sleep I lost worrying about this supposed victim of a huckster! He was the huckster all along!

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, we won’t get fooled again!

Yeah, it’s embarrassing admitting all this, but if it helps someone else avoid getting scammed like me, then it is worth it.

Now, for the good news!

Turns out that Greg the scamtoad scammed the wrong folks and now is in jail! That’s right. The system sometimes works! Even better, he has to pay back all of the money he stole from people including yours truly. Big shout-outs going out to Detective Fakerson for getting to the bottom of all this. As soon as I get my bank routing info to him, I’m going to get back all my money plus something called punitive damages. Legal mumbo jumbo aside, it’s nice to know that good things can happen!

Help for Vegans:

So, I got a message from a concerned citizen regarding her daughter coming back from college for Thanksgiving and not wanting to eat meat. Yep! You got it! She had a case of the Vegans! What are they teaching these kids in school? (Should be teaching about Izzy Lyon, but that’s another story.) Anyway, her daughter refused to eat anything with meat (or even dairy! Jeez!) so she just sat there eating cranberry sauce. Talk about not being thankful.

So, now we’ve got another round of holidays coming up and this concerned citizen is really worried about her kid not getting any nutrition. She said she barely recognized her because she lost ten pounds (and was wearing black eyeliner, but again, another story to tackle that one!) Anyway, it got me thinking, how does one (the concerned citizen) go about getting her daughter to eat something healthy and it hit me: trickery! So, I went to the store and did a little shopping and came home and made this:

Just looks like some carrots, right? Guess what? They’re actually hot dogs with the stems of carrots jammed into them! Look closely and you’ll see. Pretty darned good if you ask me. Make sure you throw the actual carrots away to hide the evidence!

 “So, here you go, Vegan Megan, how about some empty carrots for dinner?”

 “Sure, mom.”

Ha! Got her! Now you can cook these bad boys up, cover them in venison chili, wrap them in bacon, what have you. And she’ll never know that she got some nutritious hot doggy goodness in her belly! Of course, my guess is that she’ll feel so good that she’ll demand more of these “carrots” at every meal. Only you’ll know they’re healthy hot dogs!