Cocovod Recipe:

Okay, so I guess I didn’t realize that cocovod was a regional thing. Lot’s of people are asking me what it is and simply put: it’s the best way I know to chase away the winter chill. Essentially, cocovod is a hot chocolate drink with a bit of a kick.

Here’s my Aunty Bonnie’s recipe for cocovod (the one I use):

 

Ingredients

¾ cup of Whole Milk

3 tsp of Sugar

3 tsp of Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

½ tsp of Vanilla Extract

¼ cup of Vodka

Heat milk, vanilla, cocoa powder, and sugar in a small saucepan, forever stirring. Make it as hot as you like, as long as the cocoa powder and sugar are dissolved, you’re fine. Don’t make it too hot or you’ll burn your tongue. Pour into a mug and add vodka.

Enjoy.

Note: I can’t find my tablespoon in case you’re wondering!

Stay Home with Frozen Izzy:

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an avid outdoorsman. So it may come as a shock to people that when I’m in the middle of winter, I don’t mind staying home and cozying up to a good book. And no, this is not just a blatant way of promoting my own book. It’s been out-of-print since my comb-binder broke a few years back. No, I’m talking about my Izzy scrapbook. I’m sure you have one too. But when’s the last time you took it out and enjoyed it?

It's time.

Make a fire. Heat up some cocovod and just relax and skim through the pages. What’s weird is that Izzy can do it all. He can make your heart race AND be a great comfort. Izzy Lyon is a person so frequently associated with movement, but to see him frozen in a photo in your scrapbook, ahhhh, bliss.

A chilly morning toast to Izzy!

Possible Florida Izzy Sighting Part 5:

So, it’s been a while, but if you look back at previously posted posts, you’ll see that there were some shady dealings with a guy named Greg. A guy it turns out that I foolishly trusted. He spun me a tale about a friend and Izzy info, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker!

Not only did I send this joker a pile of hard-earned dough-ray-me, but I can’t tell you the amount of sleep I lost worrying about this supposed victim of a huckster! He was the huckster all along!

Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, we won’t get fooled again!

Yeah, it’s embarrassing admitting all this, but if it helps someone else avoid getting scammed like me, then it is worth it.

Now, for the good news!

Turns out that Greg the scamtoad scammed the wrong folks and now is in jail! That’s right. The system sometimes works! Even better, he has to pay back all of the money he stole from people including yours truly. Big shout-outs going out to Detective Fakerson for getting to the bottom of all this. As soon as I get my bank routing info to him, I’m going to get back all my money plus something called punitive damages. Legal mumbo jumbo aside, it’s nice to know that good things can happen!

Help for Vegans:

So, I got a message from a concerned citizen regarding her daughter coming back from college for Thanksgiving and not wanting to eat meat. Yep! You got it! She had a case of the Vegans! What are they teaching these kids in school? (Should be teaching about Izzy Lyon, but that’s another story.) Anyway, her daughter refused to eat anything with meat (or even dairy! Jeez!) so she just sat there eating cranberry sauce. Talk about not being thankful.

So, now we’ve got another round of holidays coming up and this concerned citizen is really worried about her kid not getting any nutrition. She said she barely recognized her because she lost ten pounds (and was wearing black eyeliner, but again, another story to tackle that one!) Anyway, it got me thinking, how does one (the concerned citizen) go about getting her daughter to eat something healthy and it hit me: trickery! So, I went to the store and did a little shopping and came home and made this:

Just looks like some carrots, right? Guess what? They’re actually hot dogs with the stems of carrots jammed into them! Look closely and you’ll see. Pretty darned good if you ask me. Make sure you throw the actual carrots away to hide the evidence!

 “So, here you go, Vegan Megan, how about some empty carrots for dinner?”

 “Sure, mom.”

Ha! Got her! Now you can cook these bad boys up, cover them in venison chili, wrap them in bacon, what have you. And she’ll never know that she got some nutritious hot doggy goodness in her belly! Of course, my guess is that she’ll feel so good that she’ll demand more of these “carrots” at every meal. Only you’ll know they’re healthy hot dogs!

Conspiracy Mixed Nuts:

I met a kook who thinks everything is a conspiracy theory and started talking to him about Izzy Lyon. His name was W. That’s it. Just the letter W. He said that the moon landing was faked and so how do we know that they didn’t just fake Izzy. I told him that I didn’t even know what that meant. He asked me for some change and if I had any cigarettes before he got on a bus toward midtown.

Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Ugh! I don’t need anymore crazy in my life!

Izzy Unaware He’s Missing?:

Okay, so here’s what could be the scariest thought you’re going to hear this month (and it’s Halloween time, you know!) A guy named Red with 2 D’s I met at the KFC says that Izzy might not know he’s missing! Yeah!

He said that he could have fallen from this helicopter flight and (although his high-top fade may have saved his life) he could have gotten one of those concussions and has no memory. Light a candle under my butt and spread me a diamond ring, that’s weird! Right? Could you imagine going through the last few decades not knowing that you’re Izzy Lyon, the world’s greatest sign-spinner? That would suck deez!

Hash tag: RememberYou’reIzzyIzzy!

Shocking News about Vegans!

Okay, I hope you’re sitting down for this one. This whole Vegan Affliction or Syndrome or whatever has taken a new turn. I wasn’t sure if the news I got was real, so I had to do my own firsthand research. It turns out that the people afflicted with the Vegan CAN eat meat! It’s just some kind of mental thing. They’re not allergic or anything!

I can’t even begin. This is really messed up! Oh, jeez. I think I’m going to be sick.